My weekends are always so screwed up. I worked saturday from 8am until about 1pm. Then I came home and my best friend and I went shopping and had lunch. Then she "tricked" me. She had set up an appointment with her old psychotherapist for me. Come to find out my husband was in on it too. You know, I would've went, but it wasn't going to be 3 days after we talked about it. I really didn't like the fact that my husband and my best friend "tricked" me into going. I felt like I wasn't being trusted. Don't get me wrong. I was scared shitless. I don't like having to start with someone new and try to get them to know everything I've been through just so they can "help" me.
Another incident would be the fact that my best friend spoke with my mother-in-law and she had the nerve to tell her to watch her back because I might try and steal her husband. That pissed me off. And my husband wonders why I can't stand his mom. The nerve of her to say something like that about me. I never have ever done anything like that for my mother-in-law to even say anything like that. Also....she thought she was going to be "nice" and buy my kids a hole new bedroom set AND the bedding to go with it. THAT IS MY RESPONSIBILTY!! I AM THE PARENT!! NOT HER!! Plus I had already found my daughter a daybed and we pick it up this weekend and we have all the bedding for their rooms on lay-a-way. How dare she try and "out do" me. I can't believe that she thinks that buying me items is going to make me like her. Doing shit like that just makes things worse. But of course, you can't get her to see that. Sometimes I wish she would just drop dead or leave us alone forever. She makes things between my husband and I so stressful. No wonder our marriage is falling apart.
I like my new therapist. Hopefully he'll be able to help me and I can start living a "normal" life instead of this crazy, screwed up one. He just can't understand why I've been through therapy for 4 years and everything is getting worse instead of better. I never really realized that until saturday when I saw him. He also made me realize that I'm very judgemental against myself. He also noticed that I have a lot of anger and pain. And that was with only a 1hr session and we've never seen each other before. I have a feeling in my gut that this guy may actually help. I really do hope so.
Anyways, life is going to be crazy for the next month or so between my chiropractor, physical therapy, and kids appointments, I don't know when I'll be able to blog again. I'm sure I'll find time. With a busy schedule like that, things are always bound to happen to make me go crazy.
Some day....life will be "normal" for me!! I hope it's soon. I don't know how much more I can take.
posted by Me @ 12:16 PM
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