I know I've said this many times before, but I think I'm seriously done with everything. I'm to the point that I don't want my kids anymore. I enjoy having them around for about 4 days and then I'm done. I can't stand the mental & emotional strain it's putting on me. I'm tired of being treated like crap and having them tell me that they're going to tell daddy on me and that they want to stay with him. I've done nothing but bent over backwards for them and this is what I get. I can't afford to keep them. It's too much of a financial strain, let alone the emotional and mental strain that I'm being put through.
Z told me the other day that I needed to stop smoking or I was going to die. The first thing that popped into my head was "Good. Too bad it's not going to happen soon enough." I don't understand why I'm having these feelings again. I thought I had my depression and suicidal thoughts under control. I've been off of meds for about 3 years now and I've been fine. Now, within the last month or so, that's all I can think about, especially when the kids are around. I just don't see the point in fighting anymore for what I want when I can't even make up my mind with what I want.
I'm running out of patience and energy for this fight. I don't know how much more I can take.
I NEED HELP GETTING THROUGH THIS!!!!
Your Ideal Pet is a Cat
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You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!
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Not bad considering I have 3 cats.
You Are a Coy Flirt
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You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing.
You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing.
Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal.
A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.
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I'm not too sure about this one though.
I haven't heard from you in awhile. Is everything ok? Are you doing ok? Did you move or are you still in the area? I wish you'd call me again. It was nice talking to you. I've always been at ease when it came to talking to you. There's just something about you that makes it so easy to talk and not have to worry about what you think. Please try to keep in touch (if you can).
